News of the Year – Part III

And after winding our way through a court case for the ages and strikes, on come the summer months!

July 10: A lockout threatens to rock the Norwegian oil sector. The government intervenes. – The Norwegian people were conflicted. On the one hand, these are the people assuring that we can have two cars, a summer house and a winter cabin, while being able to go to Spain twice a year. On the other hand, the pensions they were fighting for were ridiculously large.

July 22: The first anniversary of the attacks on Oslo and Utøya is commemorated across the country. Bruce Springsteen shows up. – For some reason, the Norwegian Football Association also thought it was a great idea to schedule loads of games that day. Figure that one out.

July 28: Flooding in Hedmark County. – Some sources sarcastically proclaim this to be one of the drier summers on record. Welcome to Norway.

August 5: Teenager Sigrid Schjetne disappears on her way home from a friend in a suburb of Oslo. A massive search starts. – And some massive media hysteria.

August 13: The Gjørv Commission presents its report on July 22. Everyone is criticized. – Heads *WILL* be bashed.

August 16: Director of the National Police Directorate Øystein Mæland resigns following the aforementioned report. – Eyes were rolled.

August 24: Anders Behring Breivik is sentenced to 21 years in prison – in practice, this means he will be in jail for life.

August 27: Statoil reports finding a whole lot of oil. – Hurray, swimming pools for us all!

August 29: Mullah Krekar is sentenced to an extra year of jail for even more death threats – The guy just can’t catch a break.

September 4: Sigrid Schjetne, who has been missing for a month, is found dead in the suburb of Oppegård. A 64-year old man and a 37-year old man are arrested in connection with the death. – The younger man’s Facebook profile was found and quickly overrun by the keyboard heroes.

September 15: Leader of the Christian People’s Party, Knut Arild Hareide, announces that he is open for cooperation with the Progress Party after next year’s elections – And thus, his party joined the 21st Century.

September 16: The King’s older sister, Princess Ragnhild, dies at the age of 82.

September 21: The Labour Party plays musical chairs in government, among other things appointing the first muslim minister as Hadia Tajik takes over the Ministry of Culture – Wingnuts across the nation had their heads explode.

September 25: The trial of a 47 year-old man charged with aiding the genocide in Rwanda in 1994 starts in the Oslo City Court – As far as we know, the Rwandans did not notice.



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