News of the Year – Part IV

October 8: The national budget for the fiscal year 2013 is presented – The Minister of Finance comments, «YES, we are in fact f***ing rich»

October 9: The trial of Rune Øygard, Mayor of Vågå, starts. He is charged with having sexual relations with a 14-year old girl – Apparently his wife knew nothing. Aaaaabsolutely nothing.

October 12: The Nobel Peace Prize for 2013 is awarded to the European Union – Didn’t see that one coming, did ya?

October 17: Former Progress Party politician Trond Birkedal, who has appealed his previous sentence, is sentenced to seven months of jail time for filming underage boys in the shower – Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

November 2: The Norwegian Oil Fund (which is actually called The Government Pension Fund) is now worth $674 billion – WE’RE RICH! RICH! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICH!

November 5: Parliament starts hearings related to what happened on July 22, 2011. – Deciding what heads are to roll.

November 19: For the 36970196790790479th time in the past ten years, SAS almost goes bankrupt. – Can’t they please just let it die?

November 22: Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg proclaims that the responsibility for what happened on July 22, 2011 is his – Before proceeding to do nothing.

November 30: Junior Minister Roger Ingebrigtsen resigns after his affair with a 17 year-old party member is revealed – The Year of the Lonely Politician.

December 4: A 19-year old man is sentenced to 19 years in jail for the rape and murder of 98 year-old Hilda Feste in January. He denies all involvement, but there is substantial evidence against him – Such as his phone being full of “granny porn”.

December 6: Mullah Krekar is sentenced to prison for the second or third time this year – Nobody kept count.

December 10: The Nobel Peace Prize is awarded to the European Union. Heads of state and government in the Union show up in Oslo – Prompting the Oslo police’s largest collective facepalm since the Justin Bieber concert in May.

1 comment
  1. katefate said:

    This USian enjoyed this year-end wrap-up, especially the author’s commentary. Keep blogging; your writing is informative and entertaining.

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